No Wonder the Boss Never Takes A Vacation!
If you think X10 rocks when the Big Guy is off for a “wacky weekend,” you should see it when the number one guy takes off on a vacation.
I could tell something was different when I arrived at the headquarters building. The parking lot was more occupied than I had ever seen it before. The Big Guy must have hired a lot more young helpers before he left – many of them quite attractive women. While there has never been a dress code at X10 in my memory, I think these women might be stretching state law in the limited amount of clothing they were wearing. This wasn’t even a very warm summer day.
They also seemed more aggressive than most of the women who work at X10. “I’m going to hit the bandit,” one of them said, as she headed for the front door.
I assumed she was referring to a possible assault on the still at large Midnight Bandit, but as I walked in the door, the lobby was filled with slot machines, roulette tables and scantily clad Keno runners.
Just when I was wondering who was managing the place in the Big Guy’s absence, a few members of middle management were adjusting one of the electronic slots with video that had been captured with a Vanguard Camera in the executive washroom. The Big Guy would never want to hit a jackpot on this machine – as one of the poorly dressed young ladies had just done. The Jackpot showed a video of the Big Guy in his shorts at his knees, badly humming a Grateful Dead tune. Along with the video came a jackpot consisting of coupons for dozens of brand new Sentinel Cameras and a Lola Video Sender, “Wheeeeeeeeeee! The winner was excited. “This is even better than the bandit price!
I couldn’t figure out why they were having a “Las Vegas Night” in the middle of the work day. I could imagine that the Big Guy was probably on his cell phone attempting to reach someone in his office at this very minute.
Up the stairs, it was easy to tell that if anyone was calling, no one could hear the ringtones. Instead, there were was a conga line of employees attempting to shatter the world record for Conga’s dancing to heavy metal music. It had taken the dancers the bulk of the morning to research the statistics. It was clear that they were ready for a break.
In the back of the Conga line, in the Big Guy’s office, a team was adjusting X10’s Web Page and dropping prices to ridiculous levels. “Are we making any money from this?” one concerned paper warrior asked.
“Are you kidding?” Who needs money when we are about to be the happiest company on Earth!”
As the day wore on, and the liquor supplies were pretty much drained for the day, one manager wondered out loud. “You know, we’ve got to get the Big Guy, a special coming home present…”
“I’ve got it,” said another.
After more research, they found the perfect present. At first, when the Big Guy came across the mess throughout the building, he wasn’t quite aware of the true definition of the night visitor that was chewing on the quarterly reports. What appeared to his unbelieving eyes was part horse, part ox.
It’s a “summer equine ox,” the middle manager explained.
“Have we talked about your vacation? “ the Big Guy asked the manager.
“Uhm, I just got back from mine a few weeks ago,” the manager answered.
“I think it’s time for you to have another vacation – this one will be a LOT longer… take my equine-ox, you’ll have all the time in the world!”